Emotional Wholeness

feel-better-fast

3 Hacks to Feel Better Fast

By Alison Cook | December 5, 2019

The day after Thanksgiving, I found myself in a panic. For a moment, I couldn’t figure out why. The oven was off; the dogs were inside. All loved ones were accounted for. Then, I remembered: I was giving a major talk that night. And, a part of me was terrified. Sure, I knew what words...

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angry-at-yourself

What to do when you’re angry with yourself

By Alison Cook | October 16, 2019

I was struggling with anger about a relationship recently and processed the emotion with a trusted adviser. She understandably asked me: “Have you forgiven this person?” The thing was, I had. I didn’t sense animosity toward the other person. I’d separated out of the hurtful situation and healthy boundaries were now in place. As I...

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what-to-do-with-negative-emotions

The hidden reason why negative emotions are helpful

By Alison Cook | October 8, 2019

Imagine yourself as a child. When you’re hungry, you cry and someone feeds you a nutritious meal. Or when you fall and hurt yourself, you scream and someone runs to your side, lovingly trying to help. As you grow older, negative experiences occur, such as a friend turns on you and gets other kids to...

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self-care

Why self-care is the opposite of selfishness

By Alison Cook | October 3, 2019

I don’t want to be selfish! Isn’t kindness always best? How can I be Christlike and take time for myself? If I had a dime for every time I’ve heard a woman say these words to me when faced with hard decisions, I’d have a lot of money. If I had a nickel for every...

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spiritual-bypassing

The danger of bypassing your emotions

By Alison Cook | September 11, 2019

Have you ever stuffed your emotions because you thought they couldn’t be trusted? I did, for most of my young adult life. In fact, I stuffed my emotions because I thought it was the “Christian” thing to do. I would tell myself things like: I’m not lonely. I have Jesus. I don’t need therapy. I...

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asking-for-help

The risk of asking for help and how to do it wisely

By Alison Cook | August 29, 2019

Is there really a risk in asking for help? Recently, I asked a question on Instagram: “Why is it hard for you to ask for help?” I couldn’t believe the number of responses I received, so I copied them into a document and categorized them. Here are some of the main categories that surfaced: Fear...

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how-to-set-up-a-support-network

6 ways to set up a support network and why it matters

By Alison Cook | August 14, 2019

I can’t tell you the number of people who write to me looking for help in the midst of a full-blown crisis. They have no idea how to set up a support network—and no ready-made shelter now that the storm has hit.  Finding a good counselor can be hard. And it’s even harder when you...

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how to forgive

How to forgive when no one’s asking for it

By Alison Cook | August 1, 2019

It feels uncomfortable to me when someone says, “Will you forgive me?” In most cases, you pretty much have me at the look in your eye. If you’re big enough to show up to talk about it: we’re good. It’s over. Let’s move on! It’s different for everyone, I know. In fact, Gary Chapman, author...

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boundaries and heartache

Boundaries can help heal a heartache

By Alison Cook | June 17, 2019

I’ll never forget the first time I discovered that boundaries can help heal a heartache. Decades ago, I drove home a few weeks after a painful break-up. As I parked in front of my apartment, a favorite song came on the radio. Suddenly, the tears I’d been holding back for weeks came pouring out. In...

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boundaries-with-guilt

Why you should pay attention to guilt

By Alison Cook | May 29, 2019

Do you feel guilty all the time? If you do, please know you’re not alone. A constant sense of guilt is one of the most common challenging emotions I come across in people. Sometimes guilt is a subtle feeling—a nagging sense of all the things you’ve done wrong. Sometimes it’s not so subtle—a sense of...

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friends with fear

How to make friends with your fear

By Alison Cook | May 15, 2019

I’ve learned to make friends with my fear. I know that may sound strange. But after years of denying it—and having it pester me from afar—I’ve learned that befriending fear is the far better way. Many of our teachers and leaders tell us to watch out for fear. They say it holds us back and...

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4 steps to befriending your anger

By Alison Cook | April 30, 2019

The other night I felt angry. I noticed it deep within, way down at gut level. It welled up within me, and it was all I could do to hold it in. And I took notice. Because it took me years to understand the importance of listening to anger. Instead, I used to bury it....

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