Boundaries for Your Soul

joy

The importance of play

By Alison Cook | April 3, 2019

I planned to write about weariness today. And honestly, all I want to do is go outside and play. It might be because the hope of spring is finally descending on us here in New England. (There’s a reason we have Tom Brady, guys. Have you spent a winter in New England? We need *something*...

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9 ways to set boundaries with loneliness

By Alison Cook | March 27, 2019

It takes a long time to make an old friend. I learned that the hard way in the first 2 decades of my adult life. Job changes, moves, graduate school, and my family of origin leaving the small, close-knit town of my youth left me struggling with loneliness as I navigated into adulthood. We need...

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What if loneliness was a gift?

By Alison Cook | March 21, 2019

Loneliness gets a bad rap. And for good reason. One of our deepest, most basic human needs is to experience healthy attachment—or in non-psychological terms, to experience loving connection with someone who sees us. When you stop numbing, one of the first painful emotions you may encounter is loneliness. And loneliness is a double-whammy. It often...

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7 vulnerable feelings that surface when you stop numbing

By Alison Cook | March 13, 2019

As you peel back the layers of numbing behaviors, you might notice new feelings that surface—vulnerable feelings that may be uncomfortable or unpleasant. There’s a reason we numb. Don’t be alarmed. Those painful feelings are presenting themselves for healing. Look at these feelings as an opportunity to take a You-Turn and gain insight into your...

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bench in winter

A note to all our numbing pain avoiders

By Alison Cook | March 7, 2019

As Lent arrives, I see you, my impulsive, sometimes sneaky, pleasure seeking little numbing sidekick. But here’s the thing my dear, young, “I want what I want when I want it” self. God wants more for you. He really does. And I’m not just saying that because I’m supposed to. You see, I’ve encountered the...

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Taking A Uturn Info Graphic

4 steps to turn your daydreaming into reality making

By Alison Cook | February 21, 2019

As a kid, I used to create complex daydreams all the time – in vivid detail. I would dream about my future, where I lived, even what I’d be wearing and the fabulous 80’s hairstyles I’d take with me into my imagined future. 🤫 Back then, this make-believe world I created was soothing – it...

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4 questions to ask when it comes to setting boundaries with your phone

By Alison Cook | January 29, 2019

Imagine a day without your phone. . . Does a quick hit of Instagram make the grocery store line bearable? Are you texting your friends more than you’re talking to them? If you’re panicked at the thought of a day without your phone, it might be time to set some boundaries with your internal phone...

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Boundaries with a numbing entertainment junkie

By Alison Cook | January 22, 2019

This one hurts. I’ll admit it – entertainment is probably my #1 numbing behavior and always has been. Whether it was Friday night sitcoms in the 80’s, Rom-Coms in the 90’s, or the binge-worthy internet surge of the 2000’s, I’m a sucker for escaping into the real or not-so-real lives of other people. So this...

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When you’re eating to numb, find the part of your soul in need of your care

By Alison Cook | January 17, 2019

I don’t want to face the pain. That’s rarely what we’re thinking when we’re mindlessly eating to numb. At least, that’s not my experience when I reach for that bag of chips or third cookie. Instead, what I notice is a sense of urgency. I really need that cookie. Grab it, fast! Some part of...

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When you need a rest from your inner task manager

By Alison Cook | November 21, 2018

A need isn’t always your personal call to action. My dad wrote this on a sticky note once and pasted it to his bathroom mirror. At the time, I didn’t really understand – I was a young kid. I just knew that my dad – a bastion of encouragement and helpful support – thought enough...

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Overcoming Perfectionism poppy flower

4 tips for overcoming perfectionism

By Alison Cook | November 14, 2018

If you struggle with overcoming perfectionism, please understand:  I know how hard you work to be good. I know that you have the highest standards for yourself. . . that you value excellence. . . and that for the most part you are harder on yourself than you are on anyone else. You are cautious,...

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When your shaming inner critic meets gentleness

By Alison Cook | November 7, 2018

What is the club you beat yourself with? Take a moment and consider your internal dialogue. Do you ever notice thoughts like these: You should be more like her. He’s so successful. If you were better, you’d be where he is. You deserve this bad thing that’s happened. You’ll never be as good as other...

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