Posts by Alison Cook

7 common numbing behaviors that keep you from wholeness

By Alison Cook | January 3, 2019

As you probably know if you follow me on Facebook or Instagram, I was surprised to find my own inner numbing avoider completely upended by what you selected for me to write about this New Year. Yep, your overwhelming response to my poll on what to cover was numbing behaviors (e.g. overeating, binge watching television,...

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Authentic connection

A simple way to connect authentically this holiday season

By Alison Cook | December 12, 2018

How are you doing? Whenever somebody asks me this question, I tend to get very deer in the headlights. A flurry of words dance through my mind. Typically the first one I land on is Good! followed by panic as my English teacher mom’s voice surfaces. . . .or is it Well? which never sounds...

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When you need a rest from your inner task manager

By Alison Cook | November 21, 2018

A need isn’t always your personal call to action. My dad wrote this on a sticky note once and pasted it to his bathroom mirror. At the time, I didn’t really understand – I was a young kid. I just knew that my dad – a bastion of encouragement and helpful support – thought enough...

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Overcoming Perfectionism poppy flower

4 tips for overcoming perfectionism

By Alison Cook | November 14, 2018

If you struggle with overcoming perfectionism, please understand:  I know how hard you work to be good. I know that you have the highest standards for yourself. . . that you value excellence. . . and that for the most part you are harder on yourself than you are on anyone else. You are cautious,...

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When your shaming inner critic meets gentleness

By Alison Cook | November 7, 2018

What is the club you beat yourself with? Take a moment and consider your internal dialogue. Do you ever notice thoughts like these: You should be more like her. He’s so successful. If you were better, you’d be where he is. You deserve this bad thing that’s happened. You’ll never be as good as other...

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Guest Post at AnnVoskamp.com

By Alison Cook | October 29, 2018

Thanks so much to the lovely Ann Voskamp for featuring my story—adapted from Chapter 5 of Boundaries for Your Soul —on her blog this week. It’s about how my journey to becoming a psychologist was disrupted when I had to face my own overwhelming emotions and learn to befriend them. If you’re anything like me,...

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How to calm your worry

By Alison Cook | October 17, 2018

My, friend, Nicole, could not calm her worry. She worried about everything: she worried that if she didn’t marry, she would grow old alone—and that if she were to marry, her husband would end up cheating on her. She worried that if she stayed in her job, she would burn out—and that if she left...

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4 ways to shift from overthinking to courageous risk-taking

By Alison Cook | October 10, 2018

Are you guilty of overthinking? I’ve had a few nicknames in my day. Most of them felt loving, but in my early twenties one took hold that really stung— “Analison.” Get it? Analyze + Alison = Analison. Ouch! If a friend or loved one is pointing out your tendency to over-analyze, you might want to...

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Controlling others or confident leadership?

By Alison Cook | October 3, 2018

Would you rather lead by controlling others. . .or by empowering them? The answer to this question is pretty obvious. Controlling others gets a bad rap, and for good reason. Controlling behaviors can lead to manipulation, abuse of power, and boundary violations. On the other hand, we do want to have “self-control” and we also...

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The 5 signs that your desire to please others has become extreme

By Alison Cook | September 26, 2018

The desire to please others isn’t all bad. But when the desire to please becomes extreme, it keeps you from tending to a more vulnerable part of your own soul in need. When you focus always on the needs of others, you risk neglecting your deepest desires. You also may be avoiding your fears and...

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The 7 most common protectors that keep you from connection with others

By Alison Cook | September 12, 2018

You know the feeling. . .You’re at the dinner table with the people you love most, but you’re not really present. Your mind is a million miles away. Maybe you’re mentally scanning your to-do list or replaying the tape of that hard conversation you had with a friend earlier that day. Maybe you’re berating yourself...

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